Candlekitty 2000 Whisky Sponge Edition No.8
Candlekitty single malt was distilled on Jesus Christ's 2000th birthday and bottled after 19 years of maturation in a pair of refill hogsheads. 19 years doesn't seem like very much when you are already 2000 years old! Which just goes to show our perceptions of time are malleable and subjective, and also that when Jesus returns he should qualify for free public transport.
We are not allowed to say the name of the distillery where this comes from even though it is blindingly obvious to anyone with a passing knowledge of Scotch Whisky. This is because if the 'brand' name were to be used, the owners of that brand would cry so much. They would curl up on the floor and weep for days, snot would dribble from their noses and run into their mouths and the dribble would pool on the floor and no amount of cuddles from Diageo's chief executive would console them.
The great secret of Candlekitty single malt would be out in the world and the Pandora's box of marketing would be forever opened. We reduced the strength of this whisky down to 48.5% so that we could wring every last penny from you personally and laugh at you while we bathe in a huge sold gold bathtub of money while receiving champagne bukkake from genetically engineered panda butlers!
Have a nice day
Whiskysponge. Xxx
Delivery
The information on this page should only be used as a guide.
We can now ship to France, Sweden, Italy and Poland again.
Customers in these countries please note the following important information before placing any orders:
1 - Please allow up to 6 weeks for your order to arrive. We appreciate this is a long time and we thank you for your patience.
2 - An import and duties charge of 19% will be applied at checkout. This charge will cover any local charges that would have been payable to receive the order into your country. Therefore, you will not need to pay local VAT or other import / customs fees to receive your order.
Proof of Age
Please note that you must be over the age of 18 years old (or the legal age within your own country of residence) to buy Goods via the Website.
We reserve the right to ask buyers for identification to prevent fraud, underage purchases and/or any other legal or legitimate purpose.
UK Delivery
Delivery starts at £10.50 for 1 bottle
- All deliveries must be signed for by persons over the age of 18 and, proof of age may be required.
- Someone must be there to sign for the delivery: A signature is *always* required.
- We can request (but not guarantee), that the delivery driver leave your order in a safe place or with a neighbour.
- Delivery companies may require to contact the recipient , please ensure you include your email and phone number when placing an order.
EU Delivery
Delivery starts at £26.00 for 1 bottle
- In addition to the above
- All deliveries must be signed for by persons over the legal age of consent for drinking alcohol in the destination country.
- Local taxation and duties may apply in your destination country.
Once your order is received, we will deliver the goods to you by courier despatched within 3 business days.
Your rights to return goods are protected under the EU Distance Selling Directive.
Worldwide Delivery
Global delivery is available please contact us for accurate shipping quotes.
Prices are inclusive of VAT where applicable.
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Prices
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In the UK it is illegal for any person under the age of 18 to buy, or attempt to buy, alcohol for themselves or for any other person under the age of 18. It is also illegal for a person over the age 18 to buy, or attempt to buy, alcohol for themselves or for any other person under the age of 18 . Please be advised that the legal age varies in different countries.
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Delivery
We endeavor to dispatch our goods within 5 business days from receipt of payment.
On receipt of your goods please check the items carefully and notify us immediately of any items that are incorrect or incomplete.
In the event of receiving damaged goods, you must notify us immediately and we may ask you to confirm the notification in writing. Do not return the goods unless instructed by us and retain the goods and packaging until the carrier has had an opportunity to review them.
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We cannot be held responsible for any orders which are seized, impounded or have additional duty charged on them by Customs.
Returns
You are entitled to cancel your order and return the goods within 14 days from the date of delivery for a full refund, we regret we are unable to refund any carriage costs.
Do this by contacting us by email ([email protected]) and quoting the order number supplied to you.
Your refund will be provided within 7 days from our receipt of the returned goods.
You are responsible for the cost and risk of loss or damage when returning the goods, so you should take out enough postal insurance to cover their value.
This cancellation policy does not affect your rights when we are at fault - for example, if goods are faulty or incorrectly described.
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Products We Make
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